The Qualities of a Believing Woman


Umm Salamah, a Prophet Muhammad's (SAWS) wife, once remarked to the Prophet (SAWS), "I hear of God mentioning men but not women." It was in this context that the following verse was revealed to the Prophet (PBUH): "…never will I allow to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female. You are members one of another…" (Holy Qur'an, 3:195)

This makes it clear that, although males and females differ from one another biologically, they are equal in terms of human status, they have a definite partnership with one another, and there is no distinction made between them as regards their respective rights. They are, in fact, each other's lifetime companions.


The Principles of the Division of Work

With the social framework, however, Islam - to the extent that it is both natural and practical - has adopted the division of labor in respect of the sexes, the man's field of activity being basically external to the home, while the woman's is domestic.

This division, however, has never been intended as a form of discriminatory treatment. Its main purpose has always been to preserve the distinctive characteristics of both sexes, while deploying their respective talents and skills in the most socially useful manner. This enables both sexes to make the best use of their innate capabilities without causing any undue disruption in the family or in society. In modern parlance, this is a form of managerial optimization rather than sexual discrimination.

For this principle to be effective, the spheres of activity of men and women have had to be quite different and, of course, separate from each other. That is to say that the man's field of activity is in the outside world, while the woman's is in the home.

This traditional distinction has been so often cited by feminists as an inhibiting factor in women's lives that the true meaning of equality has been lost sight of. After all, it will be the very same virtues in thought, word and deed, which will be prerequisites for both sexes to enter Paradise.

If the qualities of piety, humility, honesty, patience and compassion are demanded of men, they will in like measure be demanded of women. The fact that men and women function in different spheres has no bearing whatsoever on the ultimate equality - in the eyes of God, Almighty.


Basic Attributes of Men and Women

The characteristics of true believers, both men and women, are depicted in the Qur'an in the following words: " Verily, the Muslims, men and women who have surrendered, believing men and believing women, obedient men and obedient women, truthful men and truthful women, enduring men and enduring women, humble men and humble women, men and women who give in charity, men who fast and women who fast, men and women who guard their chastity, men and women who remember God in abundance - for them God has prepared forgiveness and a great reward." (Holy Qur'an, 33: 35)

These then are the basic attributes, which both men and women must cultivate if they are to endear themselves to God, Most High, and become His favored servants:

1. Islam. The initial step to be taken is to embrace Islam, which means that one should willingly obey Allah (SWT) leading one's life within the bounds of God's commandments.

2. Iman (faith). Islam begins really to take root with the conscious discovery of Allah (SWT) which is known as iman (faith). When iman is genuine, the men or women concerned cannot but surrender themselves to Allah (SWT). Discovering God as their Creator causes them to treat Him as an object of worship and to mold their wealth to the cause of Allah (SWT).

They even stop eating and drinking the whole day throughout the month of Ramadan in obedience to Allah's will. Their consciousness of their servitude to Allah (SWT) makes them remember Him constantly, on all occasions and at all times.

3. Qunut (sincere obedience to Allah). This entails the adoption of the path of piety as shown by Allah (SWT) and His prophet (SAWS). It means the fullest concentration of the heart and mind on the will of the Almighty.

4. Sidq (truthfulness) means living an honest, straightforward life in the sense of saying plainly what one is going to do, and then actually doing as one has said. In other words, it means leading a life of principle.

5. Sabr (patience) is a quality, which enables one never to deviate from religious teachings, even if one is faced with difficulties and persecution.

It is the quality one needs in order to follow the path of truth, surmounting all obstacles, which have been placed there either by the self or by Satan. It is the virtue, which will keep one from abandoning the divine path and succumbing to worldly temptations.

6. Khushu' (apprehension, fear) is a powerful emotion which engenders an attitude of humility and submission. One comes to this state through a realization of God's greatness and His absolute power, which is in stark contrast to man's total powerlessness. The fear of Allah (SWT) completely engulfs the believer, making him bow before his Maker. In consequence, he becomes kind to and humble towards other human beings.

7. Sadaqah (alms-giving, charity) is the duty of acceding to others the right to a share in one's wealth. It makes one aware that if one's own needs require the expenditure of money for their satisfaction, so also do the needs of others. One is never then oblivious to the needs of others.

8. Sawm (fasting) must be practiced for the sake of Allah (SWT). By fasting, man contrasts his own helplessness with God's omnipotence, and thanks Him for the food and drink, which He has bestowed upon him.

9. Ihsan (chastity). It is important as it keeps one pure and guards one against shameful behavior. The sense of shame which Allah (SWT) has given man acts as a natural deterrent against permissiveness.

10. Dhikr (remembrance of God). One of the most important virtues is the frequent remembrance of Allah (SWT). It is not enough to have made the discovery of the Creator and Sustainer of mankind: truly virtuous men and women must remember Allah (SWT) at all times. One who has truly found Allah (SWT) will always have Him in his thoughts and will always have His name on his lips.

The 66th chapter of the Qur'an, entitled "Prohibition," mentions three more qualities of believing men and women: penitence, devoutness and obedience.

11. Tawbah (penitence) means feeling penitent about having committed a sin and then turning away from sinfulness. This is a very special attribute of believing men and women. In this world of trial one does make mistakes from time to time - dominated as one is by the self - but the effect of one's wrongdoing will not be irreversible if one at once turns to Allah (SWT) and repents one's misdeeds. This repentance acknowledges God's greatness as compared to man's insignificance. Those who are truly repentant find the greatest favor in God's eyes.

12.'Ibadah (worship). This is the act performed to acknowledge supernatural exaltedness. It is familiarly known as worship, and its object should be none other than the Almighty. Believing men and women worship God and God alone.

13. Itinerancy. The virtues of undertaking journeys for God's cause are best explained in the hadith recorded by Abu Dawud: "According to Abu Umamah, a certain individual once asked the Prophet's permission to become a dervish. The Prophet (SAWS) replied that the dervishism of his Ummah (community) meant struggling in the path of Allah."

Travelling for the cause of Allah (SWT) includes, according to Imam Raghib Asfahani, taking such action for His sake as necessitate moving about from one place to another. Examples of such travel are: covering long distances in order to acquire a knowledge of religion; emigrating for the sake of religion; visiting scenes of natural beauty or places of historical interest which have some lesson for mankind; and, especially, undertaking journeys in order to convey Allah's message to His creatures.

These qualities, separately enumerated above, when taken together, constitute an ideal, not just for men, but also for women. These are the qualities that form the basis of Islam, and are the true means of salvation in the world to come.


by Wahiduddin Khan